Enlightenment. Nirvana. Transformation. I had a shot at these when I departed Seattle in July 2013. The last days of this year of travel are nearing and despite a ridiculous number of hours pedaling, hiking and seeing different parts of the world, I still can’t say I know what to do with my life. For some reason, I expected the universe to knock me over the head with my supreme path laid out in front of me. Unfortunately, that didn’t happen and I’m the same old me, just with a sassy $4 Cambodian haircut.
Matt and I landed in San Francisco 2 weeks ago from Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam. We had a whirlwind reunion with my family before Matt again boarded a plane for Alaska to fish for the summer. Now I find myself in South Lake Tahoe with my brother, sister in law and nephews for my last month before reality sets in. Maybe this stunning place is where I will be awakened to my purpose as I sit in the hot tub gazing at the millions of stars that decorate the sky.
Perhaps there is no such thing as transformation. It could be just a Hallmark idea, like Mother’s Day, to make some people feel like shit and others feeling as though they wrongly have all the answers. Years ago, I attended a 10 day yoga teacher training in which the instructor said, “You will be transformed. If you aren’t, that’s your own fault for resisting.” Well, it’s been at least 6 years and I’m still waiting for this said transformation. Honestly, I’ve tried not to resist!
Although the metamorphosis hasn’t happened for me, I have learned a great deal this year. I was able to tap into a mental and physical stamina I didn’t know was there as I pedaled through forests, deserts and over mountain passes for 4,500 miles. I also realized that I adore traveling, but I also love our house and the luscious light that has been created there. I’m eager to return to it. I learned to appreciate the homes of others that were offered up to Matt and I for a night, a week or a month. Strangers have become friends and family. Blood and married family as well as old friends have reminded me how lucky I truly am to have them in my life and not just for the shelter. Most of all, my appreciation for the man of my dreams has grown interminably. I am so grateful to have spent a year with Matt by my side as we lived our dreams, learned about each other and crushed the Southern Tier on bicycles. (Well, crush is a strong word…)
No, I cannot say my life purpose has been illuminated this year, but I have some fresh ideas and I sure had one helluva trip.
Last night in Vietnam spent with an old rediscovered friend. Thanks Chinh!
G & T’s at Aunt Sue’s
Caleb and I at the park. He takes my heart every time.
Whole Foods Market, Roseville comes through. They also had some delish rose wine.
G & T’s at the Granite Bay B & B with the old man.
Cascade Lake with Lake Tahoe on the backdrop. Pretty alright.
Luscious Light 
Jun 07, 2014 @ 03:08:15
You are amazing and what a ride you took me on with your writing and photos! Thanks!
Jun 08, 2014 @ 04:33:23
Thanks Carol. It’s been great to hear from you along the way and check out your photos!
Jun 07, 2014 @ 19:53:15
I think that the people who become transformed and know it really haven’t had the experience. i think you will see what has changed in you when you go back to your life in Seattle. good Luck:)
Jun 08, 2014 @ 04:32:40
Thank you for your faith Sarah. I appreciate your comment. I’ll keep you posted. 🙂
Jun 13, 2014 @ 02:47:32
I think transformation (and for many years I hated that word because of the way it’s used in the yoga world) happens millimeter by millimeter. And sometimes we don’t realize we’ve been transformed until we notice the wings on our backs. Loved reading about your adventures! xoxo
Jun 13, 2014 @ 04:31:10
Michele! I agree with you on that word. I also love that you said sometimes we don’t notice the wings on our backs. So well put.
Jun 17, 2014 @ 19:19:35
Transformation, both spiritual and physical, is happening all around us and in us all the time, but it’s hard to detect because we look at ourselves with our transformed self. Journals can help us see how we have been transformed. I think that the problem is that we search for epiphanies, which are vastly different from transformation. We are all transformed, like it or not!, but epiphanies have to be recognized, and suddenly, there they are.
Jun 17, 2014 @ 19:45:21
Well said.